Dreams
by hankss
Summary: Gale returns to District 12 as the lone victor from the 74th annual Hunger Games. Madge watches him fall apart, and tries her very best to fit him back together again.


_A/N: Sooo this story was inspired by one of my one shots 'Alive'. I really liked the idea of Gale coming back as like a broken victor, and Madge trying to fix all the pieces. Hope you guys enjoy it, and if you do please follow, favourite and comment!  
Happy reading! _

It was easy for me to fall in love with Gale Hawthorne.

I mean, he was _Gale Hawthorne_. Tall, and handsome, and _those eyes_. He brought me strawberries. And yes, maybe he treated me like I thought I was something special but it didn't matter because he _treated me like something_. And that was a whole lot better than being ignored.

And then sometimes - _very_ rarely - he snuck in a smile during our meetings. I remember the first time I ever saw him smile and _goodness_ I was the one who'd made him do it.

Katniss and Gale had been standing on my front porch, holding out the basket of strawberries to me, when I'd told Katniss it wouldn't hurt her to look a little happier to see me.

And maybe Gale was laughing _at me_ or maybe Gale was laughing at _Katniss_ but I didn't care because he smiled and I swear for that moment the whole world stood still.

 _The whole world stood still_. Just like when they called Rory's name at the Reaping.

Just like when Gale shot up, his shoulders tenser than I'd ever seen, and volunteered in his brother's place.

Just like when I felt like all the air had been sucked out of my lungs and I couldn't breathe anymore. Because Gale - _my Gale_ \- had been standing on that podium with eyes the darkest shade of granite I'd ever seen. And he was _probably going to die_.

And I'd cried and cried and cried. And I'd ignored all the people whispering around me. I'd ignored Katniss's look, from across the crowd, her eyes following my every movement. I'd ignored Effie Trinket's _stupid stupid_ speech about honouring president Snow.

And then Gale and the girl tribute - a younger girl, I think her name was Fawn - shook hands, and that was it. They were carted off stage, and I'd had less than an hour to run to the justice building and try to tell Gale how utterly and hopelessly in love I am with him, before he left District 12.

I ran until the muscles in my legs burned, and I didn't even care when I stepped in puddles of mud, wetting my spotless white dress. I _didn't care_ because this was the last time I might ever see Gale Hawthorne alive, and my heart was twisting with dread at the thought of it.

And when I finally saw him- _Gale my Gale_ \- he didn't even look surprised to see me. He'd just stared at me, his eyes stormier than I'd ever seen them before.

And I'd told him he _had_ to win.

He _had_ to come home.

Because so _many people needed him_.

And I'd wanted to tell him that I was one of those people. That I'd loved him since the first time I saw him smile. But instead I'd slipped my mockingjay pin between his fingers and asked if he'd wear it for me in the arena.

 _For me_.

Because he _had to come home_. And maybe that stupid pin would help bring him home.

And he'd nodded and sighed and then, surprisingly, pulled me in for a hug, squeezing me so tightly I saw white dots. But I didn't say anything because _goodness_ Gale Hawthorne was hugging me, and he was going off to the Hunger Games, and he might not ever come back again.

And when he pulled away the words were on my lips - _I love you_ \- but a guard came in and ushered me out without even giving me a proper goodbye. And I'd started crying before the door even closed because _what if he didn't make it out alive_.

But I shouldn't have worried, I guess.

This was, after all, Gale Hawthorne I was talking about.

He came home.

But everybody kept saying he wasn't the same anymore.

That he was different - mechanical, broken.

He never left his house. Never locked his doors. Never brought me strawberries again.

"I heard he's completely snapped," Delly Cartwright, a girl in my grade, was walking home in front of me one day after school, "Some people are saying he won't even talk to Katniss."

I stiffened.

They were talking about _Gale_ of course.

"He's still cute though." Another girl - the one slightly younger, giggled, "Maybe even cuter than Finnick."

"No _way_ ," Delly countered, "Nobody's cuter than Finnick."

I tuned out their voices. I didn't want to hear them talk about _my Gale_ as if they knew him. And okay, maybe he wasn't _really_ my Gale but it didn't matter because I still loved him. Even if he wasn't quite the same anymore.

I sighed heavily and wondered if he would kill me if I turned up at his house.

I'd still not seen him since he came back from the Victory tour. Or even since he came back from the Games. I missed his _eyes_.

"Madge?"

I turned sharply at the sound of Katniss's voice. She was staring at me in that peculiar way she always did.

"Oh, Katniss," I nodded at her, "Hello."

"Hi." She fell into step beside me, and we wordlessly agreed to walking home together, "I was looking for you at lunch today."

That was _our thing_. What Katniss and I did best. Lunch in the cafeteria. It didn't matter that we barely spoke a word to each other, or that we looked as different as night and day.

Katniss and I had one thing in common.

Anonymity. Neither of us had friends. And maybe I wanted them, but Katniss said she could never really be bothered. That is, except for Gale of course.

"Sorry. I felt ill." The truth was, it was hard to sit with Katniss at lunch these days. Knowing that Gale loved her the way I loved him and that _maybe_ she might love him too, but being too scared to ask her about it.

"That's okay." She hesitated for a moment and then sighed, "Listen. I know he may not be your favourite person on the planet, but I'm going to see Gale on my way home today. He might like a change of company."

My breathe caught in my chest and my throat and my stomach all at once. I tried not to appear too nervous, but Katniss cocked her head at my reaction.

"You don't _have_ to come…"

"No. No. I'd like to come." I chewed on my bottom lip, "Honestly."

She nodded, "Okay."

I tried to calm myself down, suddenly feeling like I may faint at any minute. I was _going to see him_. I'd wanted to see him, of course. But I was still scared. Scared he might reject me, or worse _ignore_ me.

He'd never cared for me before the Games, why would it be any different now?

"How is he?" The words left my mouth in a flurry, and I wondered if Katniss might think something was wrong with me. But if she did notice anything, she didn't comment on it, instead shrugging gently.

"Honestly, I don't know." She crossed her arms in front of her, "Gale has always been... _difficult_ to understand, but ever since he came back it's been so much worse. All he does is _stare_ at me. He won't come hunting. He won't talk to me. I don't know what to do."

I felt a prickling in the pit of my stomach. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea…

"But he did ask for you." The words were quiet, almost a whisper, "So I thought maybe that was his way of asking me to ask you to come see him." She gave me a look, "Are you really okay with this?"

The prickling changed to a fluttering and I tilted my head forwards quickly, "Yes. Of course. Anything to help."

We had taken the turn towards Victor's Village, and my eyes widened at the sight of the sprawling mansions in front of us. My home was a lot bigger than most in District 12 but it was _nothing_ in comparison to the one's before me.

It almost made me sick.

Just another example of the Capitol's _grosse_ spending.

"They're beautiful on the outside, but empty on the inside." Katniss growled, "Typical."

"Sounds like them," I whispered, scared they'd somehow bugged the place. I wouldn't put it past Snow.

Katniss turned off the main path and started making her way towards the mansion to the left of Haymitch Abernathy's. I followed her nervously, knowing this was undoubtedly _his house_.

"You should know," She turned to me carefully, "He's been drinking a lot with Haymitch these days. I don't know how sober he will be."

I nodded, speechless, as we climbed the marble steps leading towards the front door, and Katniss pushed it open slowly.

"Gale?" Her voice bounced off the walls. She was greeted with silence, " _Gale_?"

I followed as she led through the front room, trying to ignore the ridiculous decadence of it all. A crystal chandelier, and winding marble steps leading to a no doubt _stupid_ amount of rooms. A thick rug placed in the middle of the room, probably worth more than half of District 12 put together.

Again I felt sick.

"Catnip?" His voice was soft, gentle. Almost trembling.

Katniss turned towards me and gestured towards one of the rooms to our right, "This way."

I took a deep breath in and tried to calm my rapid heartbeat, telling myself it was _only Gale_. Except that did _nothing_ to calm me down, and instead I felt like I might burst from nerves and maybe even a little bit of excitement.

Katniss stepped inside first, and I meekly followed into what seemed to be one of Gale's living rooms. I blinked against the darkness inside - all the lights were off except one small lamp.

 _Gale_. _My Gale_.

He was slumped against a leather armchair looking every bit as masculine and beautiful as I remembered. His broad shoulders were hunched forward slightly and his hair had grown out a little, falling in front of what I knew to be dark, brooding eyes.

"Gale. Madge is here." Katniss grabbed my hand and pulled me forward, "Be nice."

He pushed his hair out of his eyes and stared at me and _goodness_ I felt like I was on fire. My skin prickled excitedly and I smiled timidly.

"Hi Gale." I waved awkwardly, "How have you been?"

He was silent for a moment, " _Madge Undersee_." The words left his mouth in a breathy whisper, " _My God_."

"Hi Gale," I squeaked, "Are you okay?"

He stared at me, his eyes burning holes straight through me, "I'm just peachy," His voice was dripping with sarcasm, but his eyes weren't mean, and I knew he wasn't angry at me.

I stepped towards him and took a deep trembling breath in, "Your house is uh - very _big_."

He snorted and shook his head, tugging a hand through his thick hair, "It does it's job." He muttered.

"I'm going to make tea." Katniss's voice cut through our conversation and I turned to look at her, "Would you like one, Madge?" Her eyes were warm, maybe even a little _kind_.

"Yes, please. No sugar."

She nodded and turned her attention on Gale, "Tea Gale?"

"Can you add a shot of whiskey into it?" He smirked jokingly, but I noticed a hint of seriousness in his tone.

"No." Katniss deadpanned, turning away from the two of us and slipping out in the hallway.

And then I felt my fingertips go numb because I was _alone_. With Gale.

I was _never_ alone with Gale.

"I know you watched the games," His voice shook me out of my internal reverie and I glanced back towards him. I thought he might say something else, but he didn't, instead just staring at me intently.

"Yes. It's mandatory for every District 12 citizen."

"Even Princess Undersee," But his voice wasn't cruel, or ugly, like it usually was when he mentioned my family's wealth, "You know Madge, I wore your pin in the arena."

I froze, eyes widening. Gale nodded, laughing at my reaction.

"Yeah. I used to play with it, squeeze it in the palm of my hand," He shrugged, "It helped me whenever I got really nervous."

I licked my bottom lip and nibbled on it nervously. How was I supposed to react to this?

"That's what I mentioned to Katniss the other day. I guess that's why she brought you here," He chuckled, "She knows what I want better than I do, most days. What I'm trying to say is... _Thank you_ Madge. For the pin, I don't know what I would have done without it."

He blinked at me, and I felt like his molten gaze was searing straight through me. I felt my heartbeat pick up and I was worried he might hear it as well (which was of course not only totally stupid, but also impossible.)

I nodded and cleared my throat, coughing back a tear that threatened to spill over, "It's quite alright Gale. I want you to keep it," I smiled softly at him, "You deserve it more than I do."

He watched me carefully and I wondered if he was going to spit at me or smile at me. It wasn't like Gale to accept acts of kindness willingly - there was always a debt to repay. But he didn't do either, instead nodding shortly.

"Tea is ready," Katniss came in then, carrying a tray filled with hot drinks, "Why don't you help me serve them, Madge, and then we can all sit down?"

I nodded, tearing my gaze away from Gale's and trying to calm my electrified nerves. Had Gale and I shared a moment, back then? Not only had he thanked me but - in a roundabout way anyway - he'd said he _wanted_ to see me.

 _Me_.

When I sat down on the leather couch opposite Gale's armchair, I tried not to make my feelings too obvious. Katniss sat down beside me and started speaking about the game she caught the other day, and I was happy for the distraction.

Gale had sunk back into his armchair, his eyes suddenly vacant and blank. He was staring at a spot above his head, sort of listening. I wondered if he had lots of nightmares. I'd heard that was the absolute _worst_ part of winning the Hunger Games.

I wondered if the Capitol knew that.

If they knew that the cruelest thing they could do was take away somebody's only respite. To make it so that victors could never truly sleep peacefully again.

"Are you even listening to me?" Katniss's voice was stern as she glared hotly at Gale.

In his defence, Gale snapped out of his trance, looking guiltily at Katniss and shaking his head gently, "I'm sorry Catnip. You know what it's like up here," He pointed at his temples, "It's a mess."

Katniss then looked guilty _herself_ \- probably because for that one precious moment she hadn't treated Gale as victor of the Hunger Games… She'd treated him as Gale her best friend.

Her _only_ friend.

It stung a little sometimes, but not today.

"I'm sorry Gale." She sounded sorry too, "I shouldn't have snapped at you."

He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes, "It's okay Katniss. But I think it's time you and Madge leave." My heart flipped over at the fact he'd called me _Madge_ , and Katniss nodded.

"Yeah." She stood, "Let me just clean up these cups and we'll be out of your way." I fumbled around, trying to help Katniss pile all the tea cups and saucers onto the tray she'd carried them in on. How was I still _this_ nervous, around him?

It had been three years since the very first time I spoke to Gale Hawthorne, but somehow he still set my heart racing. I watched as Katniss carried the tray away and suddenly felt guilty.

Gale loved _her_. His _Catnip_. There was no way I would ever fit into that picture.

He was going to marry her, and they were going to have dark haired children with beautiful eyes, who were agile and clever and tough as nails.

"Undersee." Gale touched my shoulder gently and I forced myself not to blush, "You can come back you know." I watched him as he smiled - this time _genuinely_ \- and scratched the back of his neck, "I'd like it actually, if you came back."

My heart was thumping so loudly I could hear the blood pulsing in my ears, but I nodded anyway, forcing myself to appear calm.

"The Games really put a lot of things into perspective for me." His mouth fell into a taut, thin grimace, "And you were one of those things."

I tried not to search his eyes for further answers but I couldn't help it. They were unreadable, as always, swirling silver and ashy grey. He stared right back at me, biting his bottom lip.

"You ready to go, Madge?"

Katniss stepped back into the room and suddenly all air felt like it had been sucked out of me.

 _Gale and Katniss. Katniss and Gale._

Don't forget that, Madge.

"Yeah." I tore my gaze away from Gale and smiled at her, "Let's go."

Katniss stepped towards Gale and touched his shoulder with her hand, squeezing there lightly, "I'll swing by next week Gale. Take care of yourself."

She turned away and I waved at him awkwardly, not really sure what the appropriate way to say goodbye to him would be. My hands felt like they were shaking and I wished to the heavens above he couldn't tell, before following Katniss towards the front door.

"Goodbye Madge." I almost missed his quiet voice.

"Goodbye, Gale." I answered, watching not to fall over my own feet as Katniss led me onto the street before stopping abruptly in front of me. I almost fell onto her.

She gave me a weird look when we were outside - somewhere between curious and mad - and cocked her head to one side.

"Did Gale ask you to come back to see him?"

I nodded, wondering if she would be annoyed at that, "Yes. He said he would like it."

Katniss seemed to be pondering on it for a moment, before she cleared her throat. Her eyes were unreadable as usual but the sides of her mouth were pulled tight, as if by a string.

She _was_ mad?

"Alright. Do you want to come with me, or on your own?" She didn't _sound_ angry, but I knew better. Katniss Everdeen was even better than I was at hiding her feelings.

"I'll let you know." I told her, "At lunch."

She quirked an eyebrow, "Lunch. Right."

And then she skipped down the road, probably expecting me to follow her, but not caring too much if I didn't.

Katniss was perhaps the most difficult person to understand.

Maybe that's why I liked her so much.


End file.
